Wraith Swamp

 <---Index

Shadow stood at the entrance to the swamp and smiled. “This shouldn't be too hard... I think... hopefully... maybe... If there's no spiders...” At that moment, a small spider climbed it's way down a thread and the Notorious Shadow let out a shrill scream and took cover behind a log. The ensuing laughter mad him flush with rage. “Very funny, Mido!” he snapped. The red haired dark elf was laughing so hard that he was barely able to reply, “I know!” A heavy voice said, “Looks like you're going to need help after all.” Shadow turned around and saw a large, burly Kokiri warrior standing behind him.

'Saria's father,' he thought with a hint of embarrassment. The man said, “To think, our greatest warrior falls in defeat at the sight of a spider.” In defense, Shadow yelled, “They're dangerous! The look small and harmless, but they're filled with poison!” Smiling, a female stood there and said, “And it looks to us like we'll have to watch your back while you're being attacked by the big, bad spiders, right?”

Not liking the sarcasm, he said, “Fine, but don't expect me to babysit you all in the swamp. I have a job to do.” Mido tossed something to the cocky warrior, saying, “Likewise.” Opening his hands, he realized what was passed to him was the spider. Screaming in fear, he stumbled over and fell on his back. The three Kokiri almost fell over laughing. Mido smiled. “We're going to need a map of the area and a compass. I know where to find them in the swamp, so stay close... and watch out for the eight legged freaks.”

As the four entered the swamp, a thick fog surrounded them. Looking around, Mido said, “That's right. This is your first time in here, right Link?” Nodding, Shadow replied, “Yeah, it is. Just how dangerous is this place?” The male warrior said, “Well, Liara and I come in here a lot for dead-worm root to make antidotes.” The female added, “And when Bargo and I heard that you needed to kill the Death Wraith, we felt that we needed to prove a point.” Shadow muttered, “What kind of point can you prove with a bug?”

The group stopped and looked at him. After a moment of silence, it clicked in. “You got to be kidding me. It's a freaking Spider?” Mido nodded. “Yep. As big as a house.”
“That's not funny, guys.” Bargo looked at him in an expression that said he was not making any wisecracks. “We're not joking. The Death Wraith is a demon spider that ensnares you in it's web and paralyzes you with it's venom so that it's hatchlings can feed on your body. The freshly hatched young are as large as a shield.”

Shadow now looked extremely frightened. “Are you sure that's not some other Death Wraith that we need? Like a little homicidal walking mushroom or something?” Mido laughed. “What does this look like? Mushroom Kingdom? It's a spider! Live with it!” Walking onward, the allegedly fearless warrior named Shadow walked behind the group with a dark cloud of doom over his head. Liara smiled and said, “Could be worse, sparky,” she chimed. “We could be hunting Volvagia in the Skull Mountain.” Sighing, Shadow muttered, “I'm actually looking forward to that battle. That's actually my next stop.”

Bargo let out a hearty laugh. “Cheer up, kid. Here. Have some Milk!” Smiling, Shadow took the thick white liquid and drank it down. With slightly rosy cheeks, he said, “Ah, what the hell. It's just a spider.” The group laughed as they pushed forward. Finally, Mido stopped at a tree and said, “There's a map in here.” Reaching in, he said, “Now... I just... need to grab...” He snapped his arm out, yelling, “Damn!” Everyone looked at him shocked. “What happened?” Bargo asked, concerned.

Cursing up a storm, the dark elf yelled, “The map is gone! The $&@#% Map is $&@#% GONE $&@#%!!!” The group had never heard such colorful language, even from the quick tempered Mido. Shadow said awkwardly, “Well, he sure can show the versatility of that word...” Hitting the tree with his blade, he yelled, “How the $&@#% are going to know where we are $&@#% going NOW?!?” Shadow shrugged and said, “Would you believe me if I told you the solution normally falls out of the sky lately?”

The group looked at him awkwardly. Sighing, he added, “Map salesman.” The group sighed. “Are you telling me that a MAP SALESMAN just falls out of the sky when you need a map?” Mido snapped. Shadow shrugged and rubbed his shoulder. “Yeah. That pretty much sums it up.” Before Mido could tear into him about how absurd that notion was, Liara said, “Well, let's just continue and see if we can make our way without a map. We really don't have a choice at this point anyway.”

Mido continued to curse his head off until Shadow said, “Dude. That was three miles ago. Get over it.” Mido glared at him, but knew that he was right. There was nothing that they could do at this point but move on. Sighing, Mido yelled, “$&@#%! I forgot the $&@#% compass was in there too!!!” The other three yelled, “GET OVER IT!!!” The self proclaimed village leader stood there stunned at the reaction of the others. Shadow sighed. “Look, this happens to me all the time. We'll get there. We always do.”

Bargo nodded. “Yeah. I mean, we've been in here more than enough times to know where we're going at this point, right? We're not new to this swamp.” Liara smiled. “My husband knows where to go. We'll just follow him.” The group stopped. Looking at the burly warrior, she asked, “What's wrong?”
“I thought we were going to follow you...” he answered. Everyone groaned at the sudden predicament that they were now in.

Shadow sighed. “Let's just keep walking. We'll find it eventually. If we were meant to look back our mistakes, the dragons would have put our heads on backwards.” The group nodded at the logic to the rather unusual phrase. Mido asked, “Where did you hear that one?” Smiling, the dark elf replied, “Actually, I changed it from a comment Light World Sheik says a lot to suit our culture.” The group nodded interested.

About that moment, a loud screeching sound came from overhead, and Mido asked casually, “Did I mention that we have to watch out for the occasional Banshee?” Taking ready stances, Shadow yelled, “Why am I the one who learns about these places the hard way?!?”