SONIC BLITZ
BOOK I OF THE CHAOTIX TRILOGY
OF CHAOS BORN
CHAPTER WHA???
RANDOM MOMENT PT.I
Tails and Sonic walked around the island, Tails saying, “And the two heroes walked along the glowing river, casually talking random nonsense as they…” Sonic cut him off, saying, “Uh, Tails? Just what on Earth are you doing? I’ve never seen you talk to yourself before.” Tails smiled and said, “I’m not talking to myself. That would just be scientifically irrational and signify a severe abnormality in coherent logistical thinking patterns.” Sonic sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll play along. Who are you talking to?” Tails smiled and said, “The reader.”
Sonic groaned and muttered, “Great. You’ve completely lost it. What are you talking… uh, do you hear a loud cracking sound?” At that moment, everything burst into shards and they found themselves in pure nothingness. Sonic scratched his head and asked, “Uh, what exactly just happened here?” His lifelong friend said in a panicked voice, “Oh, Shit! I think I just broke the fourth wall!!!”
“The fourth what?” The speedy teen muttered. What’s that and why do I hear someone typing?” Tails replied, “The fourth wall. It’s the reader’s perspective. Basically, it is the divider between the characters and the person going along with the story. Boy. That typing sound is really distracting.”
Sorry. I don’t have much of a choice in the matter.
“What was that?” Sonic yelled. “Who’s there? Are you… Are you God?”
Hardly.
Tails turned to sonic and said, “God? Come on. Why would God be typing?” Sonic shrugged “I dunno. Maybe he got an upgrade?”
Ha, ha Sonic. Couldn’t resist that line, could you?
“Well, Who the Hell are you?”
Me? Well, I’d tell you my real name, but there would be a couple of problems with that.
“Like what?” Tails inquired.
Well, first, your little adventure here is going to be put on the internet. That leads to problem number two.
Sonic grinned and said, “Like what. Can’t spell your name in HTML?”
No. this little fan-sub is a massive copyright infringement festival just waiting to happen.
“So what do we call you then?”
Hmm. Let me think for a moment. I have a lot of screen names, so, let me think. Uh, I dunno. What about chaos-shadow?
Tails and Sonic both yelled, “Lame!” Sonic then continued to add, “I’ve got the coolest name on Earth. Sonic. Just rolls off the tongue, you know?”
Uh, how about I don’t say I didn’t? Like I said. I’m trying to avoid a lawsuit here. Try again.
“Well, Tails mused, “What about Enhanced Literary Constructive Emulator.”
How about something I can remember?
“Wait a minute!” Sonic yelled. “You’re stringing us along. This wouldn’t be online if you didn’t already have a handle. You’re yanking our cranks here and we’re actually falling for it!”
Bingo. Of course, it wasn’t really hard to do, after all.
“Oh Yeah? Why is that, dumb ass?” Sonic snapped.
I’m the one with the keyboard, douche bag!
“Ouch. That actually hurt.”
Sorry. Figured you could handle that one since Amy calls you that all the time.
“Doesn’t hurt any less, man.”
Let me make it up to you, okay? Let me think here. Oh, I know.
“Whatever, dude.”
No, seriously. Couple of stuff to show I’m sorry. Mad stuff you know? Trust me on this.
Tails said, “He sounds sincere to me, but that could be the migraine from this annoying typing sound talking.”
Look. Here’s how it works. I razzed you a little to big with that last diss. So first, I’m going to let you know that I made this story the first on the site, with two more to go. You’re the flagship, and I promise I’ll keep the chili dogs coming for ya, starting with the next chapter.
Sonic lifted his head slightly and said, “I’m listening.”
Second, you need new shoes. Big really misses froggy, so here’s the deal. I’ll let you bring it to him and all you need to do is ask him to give you a pair of light shoes. He always keeps a pair nearby.
“Yeah. Right.”
Just hear me out. Bring him froggy and he’ll give you the shoes. That simple.
“No, I mean…”
Yeah. I know. Irish tap dancing frog with a top hat and mustache singing west side story. What was I thinking. Well, I wanted to add a little humor to the story line. I mean, here we are after all.”
“And where’s the frog?” Tails asked skeptically.
If you must know, he’s in Big’s right back pocket. You might want to tell him before he sits down, or it won’t be very pretty. Anything else I can help you with?”
“Yeah. Tell me where Amy is.”
Sorry. I already gave that job to knuckles. Who do you think is showing him all this crap in that oversized rock of his, anyway? Last chance for a bonus.
Tails smiled and said, “How about super cool powers and flashy outfit. We can call him Chaos Enhanced Combat Life Form.”
I had a different name in mind. Well, I have to put things back to normal before I get any more carried away.
“Wait! What about ma?”
Sorry. No more spoilers.
“No! You have to tell…”
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